Once again, the The Onion is scooped by real life events. My guess is that they'll just give up sooner or later; it's becoming too hard to sound ridiculous: Man Wraps Entire House In Plastic After Terror Warning
Valentine's Day Top 10 List: How to Let Her Know How Much You Truly Love Her
INVISIBLE CONDOM that blocks AIDS coming soon. Invisible condom that doesn't block AIDS or prevent pregnancy available now.
AMAZON.COM GREETS ME BY NAME and recommends the "Weight Training Diary for Dummies." So, just through a history of my past purchases, they have figured out that I'm puny, dumb and not very disciplined. Nifty.
THE ORIGIN OF FISHIES... or how they grew legs after sitting on the backs of Christians' cars everywhere.
THERE IS AT LEAST ONE MAN IN RUSSIA who doesn't take bribes. Though, nearly everyone else does, it seems:The researchers estimated that Russian citizens pay about $3 billion in bribes annually — about half of what they pay in income tax. Business owners, meanwhile, were found to fork over a whopping $33 billion to keep things running smoothly, a sum just less than half of all of last year's federal budget revenues. Traffic police officers rake in $368 million, beaten only by education employees, who take $449 million. The list goes on.... from the NYT profile of the lone holdout: Georgi A. Satarov.
THE MAN WHOSE REPORT CHASED Senator Trent Lott out of Washington, Josh Marshall, brings you an other brewing controversy, this time, of the electoral sort. Following up on a Manchester Union Leader story, Marshall is reporting that Allen Raymond, Executive Director of the Republican Leadership Council, is also the founder of the telemarketing company, GOP Marketplace, that jammed democratic get-out-the-vote phone banks in New Hampshire on Election Day with repeated dial and hang-up calls. Marshall muses:The Manchester Union Leader says that GOP Marketplace got the job done for the New Hampshire Republican party. So who else did GOP Marketplace work for in 2002? There were a lot of close races last year...Considering Allen's leadership of the Republican Leadership Council, that's not a bad question to ask, eh? Read Marshall's report and check his main site for the latest updates.
IS TOM CRUISE GAY? We think not. Tom Cruise thinks not. Nicole Kidman... uh, she'll get back to you. The funny folks at BBspot also think not, yet they dare you to spot the difference between Tom Cruise movies and gay porn movies. Quickly: Is Cocktail a Tom Cruise star vehicle or a JamRod (tm) productions showcase? Trickier than you thought, eh? Go on, take the quiz, and go boldly where ten percent of men have gone before! Yes, really.
THERE WAS THIS GREAT blog entry all set to go for today. It was funny, it was delectable, it was mind-boggling. Just what you've come to expect from Stinky Shorts.